Things that go lump in the night.

I've been trying to drift off for the last hour but all I do is listen to the whirring of the ceiling fan. No, I haven't been watching horror movies that give me sleepless nights. Again.

It's a lump. And God forbid I be dramatic about it but if you knew me better...Here comes the drama.

Everybody's telling me it's nothing. I've even been told it could be a lump of fat, seeing I've put on weight (nice. two blows). Or maybe I should massage it away. And, hey, it's not even that obvious.

I know that there's a 90 percent chance...No no....98 percent chance it really IS nothing. Just an extra mound of flesh inconveniently making its presence known on the lower end of my neck. It doesn't hurt. But I just wish it wasn't there. Can you blame me?

A lump. It's just a lump. I really am getting ahead of myself. I know everyone's trying to pooh-pooh it because maybe, just maybe, if everyone pooh-poohs enough, it won't even exist.

Except it's not growing on THEIR necks.

So yes, I'm going to let myself 'dramatize' this whole lump episode even though it's very likely it'll be gone in a few days. For starters, I'm getting it checked out tomorrow. And then I'm going to get a second opinion - preferably from a doctor who doesn't share my DNA just to be extra sure.

It's a lump. Just a lump. But if it turns out to be a lot more than a just a lump, I'm going to be very, very angry.

Belly laugh.

You know what makes a good day? A heartfelt belly laugh that makes your sides ache and your eyes water. Here are my favourite belly laugh moments this week (bah, it might not make sense to everyone.Then again, humour is subjective no?)

1. Putting absurd lyrics to existing movie themes ie Jurassic Park ("I'm a dinosaur...I'm a dinosaur...") and Indiana Jones ( "Indianaaaa on a horse...Indianaaa, he can even do morse")

2. Will Ferrell's classic lines: "The last time I heard that joke, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur!" and "San Diego is German for whale's vagina."

3. Conversation overheard at a DVD shop:
Man: Kamu ada wayang Dua Puluh Dua Belas? (literally, Twenty Twelve)
DVD seller: Adaaaaaa!
Man: Clear ka?
DVD seller: Ya ya clear! Baru dari panggung wayang ni (Fresh from the cinema).

Have you had a belly laugh lately?

The Mel-isms of Travel

It's so cliched but sometimes you need to get away to discover yourself. Travelling reveals more about yourself than you'd like to know, truth be told. I was in Bangkok recently and although I was with my brother and a colleague, I spent plenty of quality time with myself most of the days. So here's what I've noticed:

1. I always choose the aisle seat in an airplane. I don't care much for legroom seeing my hobbit-like stature doesn't require much, but I am particular about easy access. I hate sheepishly tapping the person beside me - who is already in deep slumber judging by the gurgling sounds he's making - to make way for me to use the lavatory. But I totally don't mind giving way to him if he needs to use the toilet for the 567th time. Translated: I'm a people-pleaser, even at the cost of my convenience. Okay everyone...Can you spell "Doormat?"

2. I check to see if my boarding pass and passport are with me every 5 minutes. I am paranoid. I get sweaty palms just thinking about misplacing them. Translated: Pa-ra-noid.

3. If I'm not sharing a hotel room, I sleep with the TV on. Translated: I may be 30 but I'm still as chicken shit as they come. For the past week I've been falling asleep to the sounds of Oprah and Everybody Loves Raymond. Oh and I check the drawers for a bible, just in case.

4. I like nice, fancy restaurants but I'll order the cheapest thing on the menu. I love my red wine but it doesn't have to be vintage. I heart air-conditioned places because they're comfy but I don't need the best seat in the room. Translated: My tastes aren't cheap but my style is thrifty, haha.

5. I'm perfectly okay spending the afternoon in my hotel room, enjoying a bubble bath while watching in-house movies. Translated: I really should be more adventurous but sometimes 'boring' beats 'adventurous'. Especially when you have a nice hotel room.

6. I love discovering new sights and cultures but I get bummed when I realise he's not there to share it with me. Translated: You can send me on a round trip around the world but where's the fun in it without having someone to share it with? I'm sorry, I don't do solo travelling very well.

7. I study maps, take note of landmarks, learn helpful foreign phrases and carry allergy/food poisoning/migraine pills in my backpack. And two types of mints. Just in case. Translated: I like to overprepare because I hate being underprepared. I don't 'wing it' and I certainly don't hitch hike. Yes, I am as predictable as they come but I'm working on loosening up. Just a little.

and finally

8. I always break into a smile when the plane touches down on homeground. Don't take me wrong, I love travelling but it's a wonderful feeling coming home to something familiar. Translated: Does that make me a bad traveller? No. I just know where I belong.

In the news.

Sometimes, you only need to flip the local dailies for entertainment.

Today, there was a public opinion piece on whether KK was ready for its very own LRT. It amazes me how optimistic our people are and although there is hope for us yet, I couldn't help but think, "Er, shouldn't they be working on the current transportation system?" Honestly, if buses here ran on schedule, taxis used meters and there were ACTUAL trains running on the tracks, I wouldn't mind using the public transportation at all. And let's face it, KK is a Ten-Minute city. Minus the 'bumper to bumper traffic' (read: a road crawl thanks to one lousy road hog), everything is an average of ten minutes away. Okay, maybe 20 for some. Ten minutes to your nearest grocery store. Ten minutes to your mother in law's. Ten minutes to your favourite pub. Do you really need an LRT to get there and back? Kudos on the flyovers (clap clap) but let's not get ahead of ourselves. So in Fridaycat's opinion: Nay to the LRT. My suggestion is to fix the dodgy roads for starters.

And for the Headline of the Day:

Wider Probe Into Sodomy Case

Someone get this editor a thesaurus.

Groupie.

I never thought I'd be a groupie but here I am. I'll admit I didn't quite grow up listening to Deep Purple or Metallica but over the years, thanks to my very own Mr Musician, I've grown to appreciate some pretty cool rock stuff. And I'm not talking about the geological stuff.

Still, I am a long way from being a rock expert (a rock-et scientist, haha geddit geddit? I couldn't resist). Back to the groupie reference, I am officially a fan of Sabah's very own 4AG, which stands for 'For Aggressive Gentlemen'. They consist of five talented Chinese musicians and, defying stereotypes of all-Chinese bands, play excellent hard rock stuff in all three languages: English. Mandarin and yes, even some Malay numbers. Oh and I suppose I should point out that the hot rhythm guitarist is my fiance. Heh.
At first glance, they look like five guys from your average finance department - yes, I'm pigeon-holing. But I love the surprised reaction from the crowd when they start to get their groove on! Recently, I went to watch them perform at a local gig and one of the numbers they did was Deep Purple's Highway Star. They blew the crowd away!
They've been getting some rave reviews of the last few months and although they are relatively more low profile than other up and coming bands, I'd say 4AG is one to watch. What can I say...I'm a big fan! heh heh.

Raves.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying my newfound 'free time'. As my work hours are determined by yours truly (factors include non-conducive weather and just not feeling like it), I've been spending my time doing things I actually ENJOY - something I might have taken for granted over the last few years. And I've discovered it doesn't always have to involve a bar, heh.

I've been absolutely obsessed with playing...online games. Ok, it's probably a phase but it's amazing how diner dashing or building cities can kill time. I think I finally realized I needed a break when my eyes wouldn’t blink anymore and my right arm had a shooting pain flowing through it. Upon which I finally picked up my neglected books again. I was moved by Dr. Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture and after six million years I’ve finally completed James Patterson’s ‘The Quickie’ - not that it’s bad reading, simply a case of putting it down and never picking it up again. But this time, not only did I pick it up but I could not put it down. I lugged the book with me in the car, in the dim sum restaurant and while waiting for my nails to dry. I love Patterson’s stuff (Kiss The Girls anyone? As always, the movie didn’t do it justice, even with Morgan Freeman in it) and The Quickie will not disappoint. In fact, it got so gripping that I cheated and peeked at the end (hey, if the ending was bad, it wouldn’t be worth the hassle).I also finished a classic by Tehmina Durani, My Feudal Lord – it tells of her life story and struggles as a strong-willed woman married to a conservative Pakistani politician (that also translates to ‘sexist pig’). Intense.

And now on to this:

Coelho of course. If I had a splinter of his writing charm, I’d be blessed beyond belief. I don’t know how he does it but when he writes, you really feel as if he’s talking to you and only you. Intense.

To break the ‘intensity’ of the literary world, I turn to the idiot box. Yep, television at its best. More like…downloaded stuff. I sat through season four of Grey’s Anatomy and lost myself in boxes of Kleenex. I don’t understand why the producers have an undying need to make you sob through each episode. WHAT KIND OF PERVERSION IS THIS??? It’s a hospital, people die everyday, I get it. But first they make you bond with the character and then when you least expect it …BAM!...they die.

God, it’s good TV.

On a less depressing note, I turn to the latest season of The Big Bang Theory (oh praise the great powers for BitTorrent!). I’ve downloaded it in my iPod and my cardio workouts have become so effortless ever since. One episode and whaddaya know, 20 minutes of the stairmaster gone! I’ve been a loyal follower of the show since Dillon introduced it to me in Langkawi earlier this year. They’re on to Season 3 in the US and I’m looking for the boxed set of Season 2 (Christmas gift, hint hint, lalalala). Being the geek I am, yes I already have the boxed set of Season 1. There’s just something hot about 4 nerds and their comic books. Hmm.

Tuesday beckons. Got some contracts to proofread and I'm done for the day. Smell you later.

Overheard.

Two girls, over drinks.

Friend 1: ....And he was there, that asshole who was a complete waste of your time.

Friend 2: Omg.

Friend 1: Yep. And he's gotten so fat and ugly.

Friend 2: *laughs* That's good to hear.

Friend 1: I moved to another table.

Friend 2: Why did you move?

Friend 1: Because I hate his guts.


I smiled. Because that's exactly what friendship should sound like.